One of my goals is to start sending my essays out to small publications and hopefully get published, so when I pitch my next book to a publisher, I can at least say I've had a handful of pieces published. I submitted an essay to the Louisville Review back in May and assumed it wasn't accepted, but I just got word that it was! Hooray! It was the first essay I submitted, so it's really encouraging. Now all I have to do is find time to keep submitting more essays to other places.
Our baby George was born 12/29, so I've been struggling even more to wedge in time to write. I go back to teaching (only one class) in two weeks, so now I need to add that to the schedule. Even if I can get in a few minutes of writing each day, it will at least get my brain warmed up to hopefully shoot out ideas to me throughout the day that I can jot down.
For now, I need to throw some coffee down my throat and brace myself for lugging a toddler and 1-month-old out into a blizzard to get to a doctor's appointment.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Monday, November 29, 2010
Oh, Oprah
Well, I finally did it: I made a vision board. I sort of throw up in my mouth a little just thinking those words, let alone uttering them out loud. It's something I guess Oprah dreamed up--of course--where you literally put your visions/dreams on a piece of paper. The visual of having them written down is supposed to be encouragement for you to reach them. My husband just told me his friend made a vision board and one of her visions was to be on Saturday Night Live and, well, the woman's on Saturday Night Live now. So here's me slowly becoming a believer. I'm a realistic person, so I know it takes more than doodling dreams on a piece of paper to bring them to fruition, which is why I'm here writing tonight. My vision board consists mostly of writing a second book and finding a publisher for my second book as well as landing a full-time professor position. Our baby #2 is due in a month, so writing and really everything has been put on hold. Once he's here and I don't feel like every step I take is a horrific effort, then I know I can start tackling my goals again. For me, being pregnant is much more draining and difficult than actually having a baby. I can survive just fine waking up every few hours to feed a newborn. I can't, however, survive easily when I feel like a bloated whale and walking up the stairs even feels like torture.
Back to my point...I need to get published in small literary journals and magazines. I put a goal of being published 7 times by next year on my vision board just to make it a definite goal. If I can just do that, then it will make me a more credible writer, which will be attractive to potential agents, which will also be attractive to potential employers at universities. I just need to get it through my thick head that I need to get that ball rolling or else this boulder of a writing career will continue to go nowhere.
But for now I have a fetus in my belly that's nearly sitting on my lap at this point and it's hard to think past anything beyond that. Once he's out of the gate, I'm off and running.
Back to my point...I need to get published in small literary journals and magazines. I put a goal of being published 7 times by next year on my vision board just to make it a definite goal. If I can just do that, then it will make me a more credible writer, which will be attractive to potential agents, which will also be attractive to potential employers at universities. I just need to get it through my thick head that I need to get that ball rolling or else this boulder of a writing career will continue to go nowhere.
But for now I have a fetus in my belly that's nearly sitting on my lap at this point and it's hard to think past anything beyond that. Once he's out of the gate, I'm off and running.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Goal Trail
Lately I've been trying to really slow down and think about what I have to do to reach some goals I have...and it's not a pretty thing. My brain starts convulsing and my heart races because I feel like it's too much to tackle and it feels impossible. Maybe that's because I'm looking at the big end picture rather than asking myself what I can do each day to take a step to that goal. So usually what happens is that I think of the goal, get intimidated by it and then fart around on Facebook or watch a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond---anything to settle down from the anxiety of thinking of my goals.
It doesn't help that when I sit down to think of my goals, they're just all over the place. They're personal and professional and financial. The personal is easy--we wanted to have another child and he'll be here in January, so I'm grateful for that! BUT because of that, the professional and financial are riding in the backseat getting totally neglected.
I keep reminding myself that I need to submit articles and essays to magazines, etc. each week so I can say I'm at least trying to get published. The part that throws me for a loop is that I'm usually ridiculously motivated to get things done, but I can't find the energy to do that.
I'm a part-time English professor now at a community college, but one day I'd like to be a tenured professor at a university, but to do that I need to get in the loop of that world somehow. I need to find out if getting my PhD is even an option and maybe I'd even hate that university world b/c it's demanding and then I wouldn't see my kids....who knows.
How annoying is my brain?!
Taking the time to write in this blog this morning is my reality check. I'm hoping it will make me carve out 10 minutes a day devoted to me. And when I say "devoted to me" it can no longer mean farting away time on things that will not bring me one step closer to what I want out of life. It has to be time spent writing.
The truth is, there isn't enough time, but I can make it a priority and bump something else out of the day.
I'll keep you posted on my progress...
It doesn't help that when I sit down to think of my goals, they're just all over the place. They're personal and professional and financial. The personal is easy--we wanted to have another child and he'll be here in January, so I'm grateful for that! BUT because of that, the professional and financial are riding in the backseat getting totally neglected.
I keep reminding myself that I need to submit articles and essays to magazines, etc. each week so I can say I'm at least trying to get published. The part that throws me for a loop is that I'm usually ridiculously motivated to get things done, but I can't find the energy to do that.
I'm a part-time English professor now at a community college, but one day I'd like to be a tenured professor at a university, but to do that I need to get in the loop of that world somehow. I need to find out if getting my PhD is even an option and maybe I'd even hate that university world b/c it's demanding and then I wouldn't see my kids....who knows.
How annoying is my brain?!
Taking the time to write in this blog this morning is my reality check. I'm hoping it will make me carve out 10 minutes a day devoted to me. And when I say "devoted to me" it can no longer mean farting away time on things that will not bring me one step closer to what I want out of life. It has to be time spent writing.
The truth is, there isn't enough time, but I can make it a priority and bump something else out of the day.
I'll keep you posted on my progress...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Essay Fiesta!
I'll be reading at the Book Cellar in Lincoln Square on Monday, Sept. 20 at 7:00 pm. It's a fabulous night of local authors reading their stuff. I'm not sure if I'm going to read something from my book or something new I'm working on. Hope you can make it!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Working Towards My Second Book
Thanks to my BFF Erica Reid Gerdes, I've been writing more than ever with the goal of having my next book done by Christmas. She said I could email her stories as I finish them just to have the pressure of a deadline lurking in the background to get me going. Otherwise, I find a million other things to do instead of writing. I'm nearly done with the first story for my next book. It's all about how I absolutely did not fit in at Corporate America and how getting sick and being forced to take time off made me realize it was time to switch gears before I really regretted not getting out.
Fall semester starts next Monday, so I'll be extra busy yet again, but I can do it. I got my last book done while I was pregnant, so maybe I'll have that same rush of energy to get this one done before noodle #2 gets here in January. When the next baby comes, I think it'll really hit me just how little time I'll have. It'll be worth it and it's all about being a "reed in the wind" as I read in a Buddhist book (I think). Go with the flow and don't fight change and bumps in the road. Bring it on!
Fall semester starts next Monday, so I'll be extra busy yet again, but I can do it. I got my last book done while I was pregnant, so maybe I'll have that same rush of energy to get this one done before noodle #2 gets here in January. When the next baby comes, I think it'll really hit me just how little time I'll have. It'll be worth it and it's all about being a "reed in the wind" as I read in a Buddhist book (I think). Go with the flow and don't fight change and bumps in the road. Bring it on!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A Little Question for You
There was a firefighter in Chicago who was killed earlier in this week while doing his job. He was an extremely well-liked man, and everyone who described him said he was friendly, always had a smile on his face and willing to help others. Hundreds of people came out to his funeral to show their support.
Maybe it's a morbid way to look at life, but when I feel like I'm sort of just going through the motions in life, I ask myself, "What would your funeral look like? Would you have hundreds of people who would say you were undoubtedly friendly and funny and kind?" It's hard for me to get on board with the whole "live each day as if it were your last" because that makes my mind spiral into negative thoughts of, "Oh my gosh, I hope today's not my last day!" and then the majority of my day is wasted on thinking about how sad it would be if today really were my last. With that being said, I do believe it's important to have a reality check once in a while and ask yourself what your funeral will look like and think about what will be said about you. What mark will you have made on peoples' lives? Will you have touched anyone or played it safe and not risked loving anyone or opened up enough to share who you are?
Like I said, it's morbid, but why not think about these things while we're alive instead of when it's too late? Each day is a gift, whether you believe in God or not, it's a gift all the same, and it's one we all take for granted.
I almost never watch TV, so maybe this proves the point that I should continue to not watch TV, especially the news. But I guess it's good to be aware of tragedy and pain, so we can internalize it and grow from it.
Just something to put in your back pocket. If you ask yourself what your funeral will look like, if you can be honest enough with yourself, you will definitely make some sort of changes in your life eventually. The one change I've been working on is staying in contact with people instead of always just emailing. I always find that I'm too busy to pick up the phone, but that's just poor prioritizing on my part. As I lay here in bed, a basket full of clean clothes sits next to me for the third night in a row and it's not driving me crazy like it once would have. I don't want people at my funeral to say, "Oh, she was a neat, tidy gal who did a bang-up job with laundry!"
Maybe it's a morbid way to look at life, but when I feel like I'm sort of just going through the motions in life, I ask myself, "What would your funeral look like? Would you have hundreds of people who would say you were undoubtedly friendly and funny and kind?" It's hard for me to get on board with the whole "live each day as if it were your last" because that makes my mind spiral into negative thoughts of, "Oh my gosh, I hope today's not my last day!" and then the majority of my day is wasted on thinking about how sad it would be if today really were my last. With that being said, I do believe it's important to have a reality check once in a while and ask yourself what your funeral will look like and think about what will be said about you. What mark will you have made on peoples' lives? Will you have touched anyone or played it safe and not risked loving anyone or opened up enough to share who you are?
Like I said, it's morbid, but why not think about these things while we're alive instead of when it's too late? Each day is a gift, whether you believe in God or not, it's a gift all the same, and it's one we all take for granted.
I almost never watch TV, so maybe this proves the point that I should continue to not watch TV, especially the news. But I guess it's good to be aware of tragedy and pain, so we can internalize it and grow from it.
Just something to put in your back pocket. If you ask yourself what your funeral will look like, if you can be honest enough with yourself, you will definitely make some sort of changes in your life eventually. The one change I've been working on is staying in contact with people instead of always just emailing. I always find that I'm too busy to pick up the phone, but that's just poor prioritizing on my part. As I lay here in bed, a basket full of clean clothes sits next to me for the third night in a row and it's not driving me crazy like it once would have. I don't want people at my funeral to say, "Oh, she was a neat, tidy gal who did a bang-up job with laundry!"
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Return of Cece Lou!
Cece Lou (daughter) is back from visiting her grandparents for 6 days. It was nice to have a break, but I've come to realize that now that I have her being such a huge part of my day and routine, there's no turning back. I had so much free time on my hands when she was gone that I seriously started to feel sad, so instead of using my time wisely to get a lot of writing and work done, I ended up sleeping or watching movies. It was nice to have time for those things too, but that's not what makes me feel good and energized. Sitting around is pretty boring to me most of the time. I feel my best when my day is packed with a routine of go-go-go, so when I go to bed I'm exhausted from work instead of being exhausted from doing nothing. So as much as I feel run-down each day and I struggle to find time for me, it's crazy, but it's actually what works best for me. Sure, I enjoyed going to a coffee shop and writing, but I just don't need it anymore. I can find pockets of serenity right here amidst dirty diapers and meltdowns. Maybe it has something to do with feeling needed by a child and the satisfaction of seeing your hard work pay off as she grows. Maybe I missed that when she was gone. Who knows. All I know is I'm glad she's back home and I'm forced to once again use my time wisely instead of crapping it away by napping and watching Judge Mathis.
I think I'm 18 weeks pregnant today (I'm so bad at keeping track!) and I'm feeling worlds better than I have in a long time! Cece's sleeping now, and normally I would be curled up in a fetal position sleeping, but I finally have enough energy to work through her naps and get stuff done.
I think I'm 18 weeks pregnant today (I'm so bad at keeping track!) and I'm feeling worlds better than I have in a long time! Cece's sleeping now, and normally I would be curled up in a fetal position sleeping, but I finally have enough energy to work through her naps and get stuff done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
