Goal Trail

Lately I've been trying to really slow down and think about what I have to do to reach some goals I have...and it's not a pretty thing.  My brain starts convulsing and my heart races because I feel like it's too much to tackle and it feels impossible.  Maybe that's because I'm looking at the big end picture rather than asking myself what I can do each day to take a step to that goal.  So usually what happens is that I think of the goal, get intimidated by it and then fart around on Facebook or watch a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond---anything to settle down from the anxiety of thinking of my goals. 
It doesn't help that when I sit down to think of my goals, they're just all over the place.  They're personal and professional and financial.  The personal is easy--we wanted to have another child and he'll be here in January, so I'm grateful for that!  BUT because of that, the professional and financial are riding in the backseat getting totally neglected.
I keep reminding myself that I need to submit articles and essays to magazines, etc. each week so I can say I'm at least trying to get published.  The part that throws me for a loop is that I'm usually ridiculously motivated to get things done, but I can't find the energy to do that.
I'm  a part-time English professor now at a community college, but one day I'd like to be a tenured professor at a university, but to do that I need to get in the loop of that world somehow.  I need to find out if getting my PhD is even an option and maybe I'd even hate that university world b/c it's demanding and then I wouldn't see my kids....who knows.
How annoying is my brain?!
Taking the time to write in this blog this morning is my reality check.  I'm hoping it will make me carve out 10 minutes a day devoted to me.  And when I say "devoted to me" it can no longer mean farting away time on things that will not bring me one step closer to what I want out of life.  It has to be time spent writing.
The truth is, there isn't enough time, but I can make it a priority and bump something else out of the day.
I'll keep you posted on my progress...